Dear blog,
Yep! Just as the title has offered! I'm back! So my highest temperature was 40 and was down for good 4 days!
Still, situations have not changed and I am still in a position whereby life is not so much of a fun. It is getting really really horrible, in fact.
How horrible? You have no idea. I think this is one of the worst it can ever get. Wrong. I think this is the worst feelings I've ever gotten in my whole entire life so far. The feeling is that.. I just wanna run away. I just wanna run away from all of these. I just wanna get out! Out there! Not in here!
Have you ever gotten that feeling before? Like there's nothing to hold you back anymore? Like everything there is here is calling out to you to get on your feet and just go! Go! Sprint! Somewhere! Anywhere! Just.. Anywhere, at all!
I've never ever thought of running this bad before. And in running, I mean leaving things behind, like they don't matter anymore. Run till you see the dawn of tomorrow!
And then somehow having something out there that stops you on your track. Stop, short. Panting and maybe running out of breath, but somehow you know that there is no need to run no more.
Then you'll regain your posture and you'll straighten up, breathing in the fresh air. Your arms spread out wide, the breeze brushes past you. The wind in your face. There, in your face, a beautiful view and you're ready for a brand new start.
A start that's fresh where you know you're going to be okay. Nothing holds you back no more. All you gotta do now is just to turn around, and walk slowly. Walk towards that open path which you know with an unwavering certainty will lead you to a greater destination.
The sun rises from the East and you're scared no more. You're safe. You're not in the dark anymore. You'll be there. The place you know you should be and will be in no time.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
I'm Officially Sick!
Dear blog,
I had a vibe that my anti-body was failing ever since Wednesday, when I felt totally cold in the Speech & Drama Room. If you should know, I'm cold-durable. Not much of a heat fan. Thus, that was most certainly weird.
I did not feel any better the next few days. Well, I guess I wasn't feeling as cold, but nonetheless, I was feeling cold. Then came Saturday. I had goosebumps and had a feeling that I was not getting any better. In fact, I sort of felt feverish. I was pretty sure that I had a fever.
I asked the people I was out with whether my forehead was hotter than usual. And as usual, my physique always fails to convey the message that "Cindy is sick". I went home that night, positive of the situation that I'm in and checked my temperature. True enough, I was at 38.8 Degrees!
Then my temperature rises to 39.1 and it actually got better this afternoon to 37.7. It even decreased further to 37.3. Pretty amazed at how fast my fever is dropping. Sadly, it was all but a fake. My temperature rised again to 39.0 and it's now at 38.8 again.
Hope I'll get well soon! Oh, I was at Joel's yesterday. With Quan and Alfreda. Tiffany came over just now and she totally saw my unglam image! Yikes! Haha! And Caroline told me to go see a doctor and maybe get myself isolated. My parents thought otherwise. They were sure that my whole family will get checked too.
We'll see how it goes. If things don't get any better, I'll probably go for a check-up tomorrow and pass on school. Speaking of school, I've not touched a single one of the assignment given! Sheit!
Loving,
CCA.
I had a vibe that my anti-body was failing ever since Wednesday, when I felt totally cold in the Speech & Drama Room. If you should know, I'm cold-durable. Not much of a heat fan. Thus, that was most certainly weird.
I did not feel any better the next few days. Well, I guess I wasn't feeling as cold, but nonetheless, I was feeling cold. Then came Saturday. I had goosebumps and had a feeling that I was not getting any better. In fact, I sort of felt feverish. I was pretty sure that I had a fever.
I asked the people I was out with whether my forehead was hotter than usual. And as usual, my physique always fails to convey the message that "Cindy is sick". I went home that night, positive of the situation that I'm in and checked my temperature. True enough, I was at 38.8 Degrees!
Then my temperature rises to 39.1 and it actually got better this afternoon to 37.7. It even decreased further to 37.3. Pretty amazed at how fast my fever is dropping. Sadly, it was all but a fake. My temperature rised again to 39.0 and it's now at 38.8 again.
Hope I'll get well soon! Oh, I was at Joel's yesterday. With Quan and Alfreda. Tiffany came over just now and she totally saw my unglam image! Yikes! Haha! And Caroline told me to go see a doctor and maybe get myself isolated. My parents thought otherwise. They were sure that my whole family will get checked too.
We'll see how it goes. If things don't get any better, I'll probably go for a check-up tomorrow and pass on school. Speaking of school, I've not touched a single one of the assignment given! Sheit!
Loving,
CCA.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
After Mid-Years
Dear blog,
What the fuck, boy! I failed all my papers, I am living in a super sad life and I'm having my Mother Tongue O in 2 weeks time! How much more fucked up can things get? Oh, add this on: I've just been lied to by my parents. Oh! To make it even better, now I'm the fucking black sheep of the family. Totally great! I'm the fucking devil right now.
Yes, son. I swear I have deep shit going around in my house. Oh, and yeah, some people around me are just making things worse for me, thanks! A lot.
Why can't things be simpler than this? Might as well turn into some clairvoyance or something and get rid of everything else! Or even better, be a nun! Get rid of everything, get rid of family, get rid of friends and every human needs!
So fucked up right now. I don't wanna come home! Just wanna go somewhere out there and fucking cool myself down first. This house ain't a house man! This house is a mess! This house is a big mess!
I wish I can go out there, find some freaking job. Earn some cash, get some tuition, on my own. There is so freaking help in this house. I am in need of help! As if this house will help! I'll be scolded when I look for help!And there's even some good-for-nothing people! And here I am blamed for every single lil fucking thing.And people are saying "Oh Cin! You're the favourite!" Yeah, sure. You're so fucking right! So fucking favoured to the point that people are expecting things that are ridiculous and extremely laughable. Guess what? I am a deity, dude! I was exiled to Earth! Joy!
There you have it! My life and I. Life can really be such a bitch sometimes! Cheers! Joy to me!
Fucking off,
CCA.
What the fuck, boy! I failed all my papers, I am living in a super sad life and I'm having my Mother Tongue O in 2 weeks time! How much more fucked up can things get? Oh, add this on: I've just been lied to by my parents. Oh! To make it even better, now I'm the fucking black sheep of the family. Totally great! I'm the fucking devil right now.
Yes, son. I swear I have deep shit going around in my house. Oh, and yeah, some people around me are just making things worse for me, thanks! A lot.
Why can't things be simpler than this? Might as well turn into some clairvoyance or something and get rid of everything else! Or even better, be a nun! Get rid of everything, get rid of family, get rid of friends and every human needs!
So fucked up right now. I don't wanna come home! Just wanna go somewhere out there and fucking cool myself down first. This house ain't a house man! This house is a mess! This house is a big mess!
I wish I can go out there, find some freaking job. Earn some cash, get some tuition, on my own. There is so freaking help in this house. I am in need of help! As if this house will help! I'll be scolded when I look for help!And there's even some good-for-nothing people! And here I am blamed for every single lil fucking thing.And people are saying "Oh Cin! You're the favourite!" Yeah, sure. You're so fucking right! So fucking favoured to the point that people are expecting things that are ridiculous and extremely laughable. Guess what? I am a deity, dude! I was exiled to Earth! Joy!
There you have it! My life and I. Life can really be such a bitch sometimes! Cheers! Joy to me!
Fucking off,
CCA.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Screwed Up English Paper
Dear blog,
Well, sadly, I have screwed up my English paper. It was a really bad experience, I do not want to experience it again. I can almost see what's going to happen in the near future. We're gonna have re-banding too. I am so totally not excited about it!
Anyway, I went over to Dinika's today. Ate some pizzas that her mom made. It was really good! Oh, and Dinika isn't really doing all that well now. Still not yet. I wonder how long it'll take for her to settle down. He life is such a roller coaster! With lots of downfalls, at that.
Recently, she's been with Joel and the two of them get along fine. I'm glad to hear that, I really am. Although, truthfully, I did get jealous, and am still, a tad, it really is better, I feel. I am glad that there is someone who can see his real value in school, at long last. I am glad that there is somebody who I can trust to look after her now too. The two of them are helping each other out, I guess. Doubles my happiness. :)
Met Joe, Quan and Ogaki for less than a minute just now. I've been trying to use my time to the fullest these days. Went back to rush for my tuition. I hope I did not stood up on them, especially not on Joe again. I missed them so.
But till the exams are over, I'll have to get rid of other things and do my best in focusing on my subjects. I hope I can really do that. I really need help right now. I am in such a deep shit! Please pray for me, dear blog.
Signing off,
CCA.
Well, sadly, I have screwed up my English paper. It was a really bad experience, I do not want to experience it again. I can almost see what's going to happen in the near future. We're gonna have re-banding too. I am so totally not excited about it!
Anyway, I went over to Dinika's today. Ate some pizzas that her mom made. It was really good! Oh, and Dinika isn't really doing all that well now. Still not yet. I wonder how long it'll take for her to settle down. He life is such a roller coaster! With lots of downfalls, at that.
Recently, she's been with Joel and the two of them get along fine. I'm glad to hear that, I really am. Although, truthfully, I did get jealous, and am still, a tad, it really is better, I feel. I am glad that there is someone who can see his real value in school, at long last. I am glad that there is somebody who I can trust to look after her now too. The two of them are helping each other out, I guess. Doubles my happiness. :)
Met Joe, Quan and Ogaki for less than a minute just now. I've been trying to use my time to the fullest these days. Went back to rush for my tuition. I hope I did not stood up on them, especially not on Joe again. I missed them so.
But till the exams are over, I'll have to get rid of other things and do my best in focusing on my subjects. I hope I can really do that. I really need help right now. I am in such a deep shit! Please pray for me, dear blog.
Signing off,
CCA.
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